So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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