Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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