i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
