with your own penis?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
