check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
