Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
