im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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