Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
