dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
