We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
