What a fucking waste of an outfit
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
