Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
