So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I will pee on everything he values.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
