My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
