ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
