the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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