I CAN MOONWALK!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
