worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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