You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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