I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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