A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize