Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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