His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
