I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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