At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
