What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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