Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
