barbara walters just said penis...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
