Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
