is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
