We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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