69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
