Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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