if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
