I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How naked do you want me to be?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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