I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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