I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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