2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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