is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
