Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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