Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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