speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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