My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
