I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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