Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
