to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
