So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
