She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The ass gains better be worth it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
