You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We need a shit load of segways right now
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
