She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
