i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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