i think i have herpe
just one?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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