if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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