If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
