Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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