We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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