OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
