Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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